I live in constant fear of failure. Every decision I make is marked by high levels of anxiety and months (sometimes years) of afterthought. “Did I make the right choice? Will this lead to my inevitable doom? Will my future be marred with unhappiness and regret.” Having an abortion was the only decision I never second guessed. Six weeks (and an embarrassing amount of symptoms) went by before I even contemplated the idea of being pregnant. Two tests down, I couldn’t deny it any further. A deep-seated dread filled me. In my whole life I have… Read More

A Pure Kind of Behaviour

It has recently occurred to me that I share the behaviour of a Pure Exhibitionist. Wikipedia describes this as ‘being content with just showing off the genitals‘ (insert a sigh of relief when reading the word JUST). Perhaps the penny should have dropped sooner after years of keeping curtains open, lights on and clothes off. I’d understood this routine as somewhat free-spirited, nurturing a love for seeing the ever-changing sky. It transpires I just want to be free of underwear and love mooneying around.    After a handful of hours spent life modelling and a hint from a slightly less liberal lover, I finally questioned this indulgent joy for nudity. Once in a space where my nakedness was accepted and people were… Read More